even my farts smell like vagina
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
