ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
