we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
