She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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