Sponge bath it is.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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