i need an iv and a liver transplant
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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