A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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