took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
