At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
