Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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