Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
