he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You did what with his pubic hair?
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