Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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