There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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