I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
