He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
