don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
