listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
