dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
