Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
either way he was missing a nipple.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
