I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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