tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
