Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
