I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Dear god my vagina.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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