No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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