seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
