so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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