Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
