she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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