My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
