I molested 6 butterflies tonight
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
