Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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