I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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