Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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