Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
