is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize