I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
