went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
