Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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