Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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