happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Randomize
