she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
