You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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