What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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