I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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