I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
