I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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