My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
