Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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