We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
