did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
