2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
