This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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