sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
