My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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