So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
