it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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