They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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