he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
