Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
