I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
